


You're Sleeping

by paraboobizarre



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-13
Updated: 2007-09-13
Packaged: 2017-11-09 03:50:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paraboobizarre/pseuds/paraboobizarre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill loves Tom but sometimes love and hate are closer to each other than maybe they should be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Sleeping

Are you asleep?” He smoothed some hair out of the way, gently brushing it to the back. It felt like silk, so smooth and heavy as it slipped through his fingers. The pale skin of his brother's neck seemed to almost glow in the twilight of the room.

 

Bill shifted a little under the massive blankets and Tom could feel a sudden wave of heat rush against his stomach as if someone had just opened up a valve. It ceased as suddenly as it had been there. A low grumbling sound, muffled by the duvet drifted up to him; Tom lay on his side, still for a couple of moments, his hand under the blanket drawing aimless circles on the bedspread. He jerked back a little as he felt the mattress dipping inwards as Bill inched closer to him, till he could feel his brother's back pressed against his stomach. 

 

A short silence settled between them. Tom stared up over his brothers shoulder, out of the window at the palely-lit building vis á vis, wondering how it never got really dark in these damn cities. Day only seemed to settle into an uneasy twilight, with gray clouds drifting across the smoky sky outside; everything tinted in that ghastly orange light of street lamps and neon signs.

 

He cautiously prodded Bill, giving him a light push before repeating his previous question, breathing it into the shell of his twin's ear. The still form in front of him began to stir, a pale skinny arm digging its way out of the blanket. Bill yanked at the covers, pushing it up under his head, using it as an addition to the pillow, before he replied, his voice heavy with sleep but not quite drowsy enough to keep a whispers light chuckle out of it. “Yeah...I _am_ asleep.”

 

Bill felt his brother moving closer against him, if closer was even possible, Tom's knees bumping slightly against his own. Waves of moist heat washing against his neck, coming closer and more intense with every passing moment, he could tell Tom was leaning over him from behind. The sound of his twin inhaling a big breath, it reverberated through his head, so disproportionately loud and metallic, it almost made him tremble. 

 

A warm shadow settled between his legs. Tom's hand, lazily rubbing him through his boxers. The friction created by the cotton on the sensitive skin made him shudder with delight. His twin's finger traced the outline of his growing erection through the underwear. Bill sighed softly and shifted lightly, his hips pushing forward ever so slightly. 

Ways to encourage Tom were limited, since he still pretended to be asleep. If Tom had gotten the hint, he obviously chose to ignore it; a flat palm brushed up his side, fingertips dancing over his skin in the wake of the touch, making him quiver all over. Gliding down again, his twin's hand came to rest on his hips as he pressed up against him from behind; a soft purring sound poured down his spine, hot dry lips brushing up between his shoulder blades ending with a kiss placed at the nape of his neck. 

 

Nimble fingers marched over his hipbone, slid down the curve of his groin muscle and slipped past the elastic of his boxers. Arching his back against Tom, he splayed his, until he felt one of his twin's legs pushing up between his own. The hand dug down, gently cupping his balls, rolling them in the palm before squeezing softly. Tom started jerking him in a slow and even rhythm, his palm nestling the sensitive head every couple of strokes, his thumb swirling over the frenum, till he felt his brother's whole body tremble against his. Bill's eyes fluttered close, his head getting heavier against the pillow; it felt like he was melting back against his brother, a strange weightless yet incredibly heavy sensation flooding every cell in his body. Time in the room slowed down to a crawl.

 

After some time the hand let go of him and lazily dragged up his groin over his stomach up to his chest, finally coming to a rest directly above Bill's heart. It took Tom some time till his own excitement had settled down enough, so he could feel the muscle thumping against the bony chest; 

Bill writhed against him; he didn't like it when Tom so suddenly stopped; he wanted him to go on, but he couldn't really tell him that since he was supposed to be asleep. As long as Tom had his hand down Bill's pants, he didn't need to think; about what it was they were doing and why it felt so good when, actually it should make him sick to his stomach. 

 

Ignorance was bliss and that so definitely applied to their little nightly tête a têtes. There was no way he could help it; what Tom did to him, they way it made him feel, reduced all logical thought to a small trickle, somewhere in the back of his mind. Bill knew that it wasn't so much the physical aspect that got to him. It was the taboo, the naughtiness that got him off every single time. Feeling Tom's hard-on rub against him from behind, his brother's ragged breathing right next to his ear; he never wondered about the nature of their relationship in moments like that; and when he dozed off right afterwards, Tom's hand tracing the outline of his spine, his mind was still too hazed to ever really give much thought to anything; they never talked about it either; not one word, nothing. Not ever. 

 

He relaxed when Tom's hand dropped down again, his calloused fingers wrapping around his hard length, starting to stroke him again; after some time, Bill, _accidentally_ , let his arm drop down, till his hand brushed against Tom's wrist as he worked him. His excitement spiked, as their knuckles touched, Tom's hand letting go of him for a short time, his twin's palm lightly sliding over the back of Bill's hand; he bit down a moan, trying hard to stifle the sounds that just seemed pour out of him on their own accord. As much as he would have liked to retain a modicum of control over his body, at some point, his hips always acquired a will of their own, pushing up into Tom's hand with each stroke, while he writhed against him, anxiously seeking as much physical contact as possible. The hacked up, staccato rhythm of his own breathing seemed so unnaturally loud in the quiet of the room.

 

The headlights of a passing car swept through the room, the cone of light angling across the ceiling; Tom watched it ripple over Bill's face, that look of fixed concentration, a mixture of pain and pleasure, heightened by the flickering light. A low groan echoed after the fading rumbling of the car's engine and Tom's grip on his brother's cock tightened, ready to finish him off. A few strokes later, he felt Bill tense against him, his whole body going rigid; his breathing seemed to stop for long torturous moments and then Tom felt a warm wetness on his hand; Bill went limp next to him, panting, his face pressed into the pillow, strands of hair clinging to his damp forehead. Slowly inching his hand out of his brother's boxers, Tom let out a light sigh, wiping the mess on his own boxers; it felt like he had been holding his breath for an eternity. 

 

He was painfully aware of his own need straining against his boxers but he was not ready to leave yet. Bill slumped back against him, his shallow breathing slowly regaining a regular rhythm again; he could feel his twin's entire body shuddering under heaving breaths. Tom gasped silently for air, it seemed like the temperature in the room had crawled up to tropical. He could smell his brother all around him, a scent that made him both sick and light headed. Probably he should get away from his brother as quickly as possible, but what little reasoning there still remained with him, it seemed to drown in the onslaught of sensory information being fired at him from all directions.

 

Bill felt Tom starting to rock against him from behind, raggedly panting directly into his ear. Bill lay still, he felt so tired and exhausted right now he could have fallen asleep instantly, but something was different tonight. Normal times, Tom would content himself with getting him off and then either fall asleep himself right away or get out of bed and vanish in the bathroom for a couple of minutes. Bill knew he was jacking off in there. Secretly, he had always wondered why he left. 

 

He gasped softly as Tom's fingers dug into his hip, gripping him hard and pulling him back. He could feel Tom, slicked with sweat press against him, his hip grinding into Bill's ass.

Bill gasped as he felt his boxers being yanked down roughly, Tom's hand gripping his ass cheek firmly; next thing he felt was his twins cock sliding shamelessly up and down his crack. Heat rose to his cheeks and something else, a light panic making his stomach flutter. Surely Tom wouldn't...not like that. Bill shuddered.

 

Tom pulled him impossibly close, his chin coming to rest on his shoulder while he continued to rock against him. Something that sounded almost like a sob drifted into his ear, and Bill felt a strange sense of guilt. There was a sense of urgency, neediness in his brother's behavior that had never been there before; or maybe he had just chosen to ignore it. 

 

“Why do you do this to me...” Tom sounded so miserable and excited at the same time, the desperation in his voice sent shivers down Bill's spine. As he rocked against him in a steady rhythm, Bill could feel his brother's head moving against his shoulder; his twin's chapped lips brushing against the shell of his ear at one time, burying his face in his neck the next, his shallow, labored breathing hot against his skin. Calloused hands dug into his hips, using his body as leverage as the pace of the rocking increased.

“I'm not doing anything.” He whispered although he knew it was a lie. 

 

Bill reached for his brother's hand, easing the brutal grip on his hipbone, cradling Tom's hand in his own and pulling them up to his face. “God...” A breathless whisper reached his ear and he thought he could feel Tom's entire body shudder against his own. Bill pressed his lips against the palm, feeling the hand shake and tremble in his own, tasting the saltiness of the sweat slicked skin as he lazily dragged his tongue across it. Tom groaned, then whimpered. “Don't do this...please, Bill, don't.” He pleaded with him between ragged breaths. It felt like his heart was ready to burst out of his chest; he was terrified of what would happen next, knowing that Bill had probably just dragged him along into unchartered territory; he longed for his brother's touch so much it caused him physical pain;

 

A sinister feeling welled up in Bill, its vitriolic taste almost on his tongue; he pictured it, a black hole that fed on this vortex of confusion that sucked him down every night he spent in his brother's bed; a bottomless void somewhere so deep inside him, a place so hidden, no one but Tom had ever been allowed access to it; and his brother had ruined it _all_ , exploited it. 

He wanted to make Tom suffer for all the things he had done to him, did to him, for making him feel so good that he came crawling back each and every night despite all the disgust and shame that followed in the wake of each blissful haze. Bill loved his brother so desperately it hurt but over the course of time, with what they were doing in the secrecy of their hotel rooms, the pain had taken over and slowly eclipsed everything else. 

 

His lips closed around Tom's middle finger, sucking it deep into his mouth. Tom chocked on a breath and Bill couldn't suppress a vicious smirk, as he swallowed down his brother's finger, the metal ball of his piercing pressing against the fleshy part. He felt the black void in him expanding, something cramping in his chest; it should feel liberating, like a victory. After all he had finally found a way to get back at Tom, giving him just the thing he dreaded and wanted most. But it didn't feel like he had won; he only felt disgusted at himself for pushing them both deeper into this emotional downward spiral. 

He swallowed all this down, gulping down the sour taste in his mouth as he suckled on his brother's fingertips, his tongue sliding between the digits. Tom mewled softly and rocked against him harder; it sounded almost like he was sobbing;

 

Tom squeezed his eyes shut, trying to drown out the colliding emotions inside him; he should have just gone to the bathroom to jack off like he usually did; why had he remained in bed, so close to Bill, when he knew that deep down inside him lived a sick maniac who just wanted to have his own brother in the most perverted way possible, was beyond him. Maybe he had felt too safe already, had thought that whatever little control he had ever had over this situation, it would remain with him; he should have known better than that. He should have known that he could not control himself like that, not with Bill's bare back pressed up against him; not when everything that filled the air around him was the almost tantalizing scent of his brother's skin. Not with the way Bill writhed against him, with the soft sounds that issued from his lips; Tom cursed himself for staying, holding on. He had always thought he was the one in control; it scared him to no end, realizing he had been foolish enough to believe that sort of thing in the first place.

 

Bill's tongue slithering up the underside of his finger, sucking him deep into his mouth, it was like a beeline straight down to his crotch. Had his brother sucked on his dick for real, the effect couldn't have been any more precarious. Tom bit down a moan, his balls tightening at the delicious feeling. He rocked harder against Bill, the force of his thrusts almost pushing his brother onto his stomach. He felt his insides knotting up as Bill suddenly pushed back against him, the pressure on his hard on increasing to an almost unbearable level. Wriggling out of Bill's grip, he grabbed his twin's hand, pushing their hands down against the mattress.

 

Bill yelped as Tom's hand squeezed his own so hard he heard his joints pop; the continuous rocking stopped and he felt Tom's whole body shudder against him, then felt something warm and gooey on his lower back. Tom had just come on him. Bill groaned silently, still feeling Tom's wet panting breath on his neck. His twin was still for a couple of moments, until he seemed to snap back to reality; a chocked up sob broke through the silence in the room and Tom's hand flew down to Bill's rear end, frantically wiping at the mess. “God, I'm so sorry...I – ” Bill shivered. He was not grossed out, he was not mad at his brother; in fact, he felt hardly anything at all. Only numb and so tired. 

 

Embarrassment burned hot in Tom's cheeks. The feverish haze had faded, leaving him feeling like the biggest pervert on earth. He only stilled his desperate attempt at cleaning away his come, as he noticed where exactly he just touched his brother. Tom groaned inwardly. He had just ruined everything. He tensed as he felt Bill's hand covering his own, fingers entwining with his; flinching he as he felt a few droplets of still warm sperm smearing between their hands. He buried his face in Bill's hair, fighting to bite down the sobs rising in him. The heat between them got too intense and Tom pulled away, his hand slipping out of Bill's grip, as he rolled to the other side of the bed and curled up into a tiny ball. Silently cursing himself, he prayed the earth would open up before him and swallow him whole. The mattress dipped inwards, Bill snuggling up against him moments later. Tom flinched, the hairs on his neck standing on edge, feeling Bill's arm looping round his waist. 

 

“Are you asleep?” His little brother's voice was low and heavy with imminent sleep but it rung in Tom's ears so loud like he had just been screamed at. He hesitated a little, before answering. “Yeah...I _am_ asleep.” He replied, marveling at the tone of his own voice; so raspy and dry, chocked-up. The grip around his waist tightened. 

“We're so fucked up.” A low murmur somewhere behind him. Tom's eyes closed and he nodded meekly in agreement, before he drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

  


 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at [ParabooBizarre @ Livejournal.com](http://paraboobizarre.livejournal.com/)


End file.
